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By Stefani Werntz, MFT, Director of Positive Solutions, Caminar’s Family & Children Services of Silicon Valley division
When I was initially asked to take over as director for Blackbird House earlier this year, I was both excited and apprehensive. I had extensive experience in working with diverse populations in both crisis and inpatient settings; however, Blackbird House was something completely new. While the concept of a peer-run home where people could come and seek safety and community shouldn’t seem far-fetched, it didn’t line up with the ‘rules,’ and I found myself pondering what that would look, feel and be like.
Then I met Jen, a regular guest at Blackbird House.
She greeted me with a warm smile the first day that I came to tour the house. She was so at ease that she could have easily been mistaken as staff. She exuded a warmth and a type of gentle strength that was both purposeful and vulnerable, and I immediately understood exactly what Blackbird House stood for.
“The staff here are all so supportive and welcoming,” said Jennifer Hulsing, who has been coming to Blackbird House shortly after it opened in December of 2018. “They ask me questions, and they take an interest in me, how I feel and what I like. I feel truly cared for and I hold them in such high regard.”
Originally from Minneapolis, Jen grew up with successful parents who traveled and worked frequently, which left her often alone. At 15 she began modeling, landing one of her first jobs with Target. After working in the industry through her twenties, she eventually found her way to California.
“I never felt like the prettiest girl. But I felt a part of something and like people could relate to me.”
Being a teenage girl comes with so many stressors, particularly in the fashion world, and Jen struggled with anorexia and bulimia as a girl. She went on to share how having low self-esteem can really affect a young girl into womanhood.
“I moved out here and I got into an abusive relationship and things just kind of spiraled,” she said of that relationship and some of the choices that led to incarceration and other inner struggles. “My self-esteem was shot and once you get into the system it’s really hard to get out.”
She was eventually referred to counseling services at Caminar, which is where she learned about Blackbird House. “When I first went there and found out that I could go back freely and I thought, who wouldn’t want to come back? It’s like an Airbnb — I just love it there! I love meeting new people, doing projects and feeling comfortable and accepted to just be myself.”
Jen, who is known at the house for her amazing hot pink beach bike that takes her everywhere, shared that she recently got a job at Italian grocery store Zanotto’s. The staff was so happy for her, a few of them came down to have lunch with her on her break to support her new endeavor.
“We love Jen,” said Blackbird House Manager Will Couch. “She’s just so incredibly sweet and we are so proud of her. We really wanted to go down there and show her how happy and proud we are. We love having her at Blackbird too, she’s so positive.”
“I really enjoyed meeting her for the first time,” said our new Clinical Case Manager Margaret McCord. “That bike is the absolute best!”
When I asked Jen what she thought of them coming down to her work, she said she was brought to tears. “When they called and asked me if they could come down for lunch, I broke down in tears. People were looking at me with these cool people and I felt so popular.”
Having a background in cosmetology and skincare, Jen says she is looking at getting back into that industry and possibly barbering. She says that coming to the house and feeling a part of something again has helped her to gain back her self-esteem and given her more motivation and tools to move forward with her goals.
“I don’t believe in a lot of things, but I believe in Blackbird House and in the people there.”
