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By Stefani Werntz, LMFT, FCS Positive Solutions Program Director
I was first introduced to Jessica by a colleague who told me about this incredible woman with a story to tell. In speaking with her, I found her energy and positive attitude refreshing, and I instantly wanted to know more. If I had not been privy to her history, I never would have guessed that she had been to jail multiple times, and had recently been released from prison.
Her message is not only one that could benefit and enlighten a population of formerly incarcerated individuals, but one with the potential to educate the masses who view those with a colorful history as broken.
Like many of the hundreds of clients who have graced our Positive Solutions Program, Jessica has a story. Jessica was part of our CBT (short for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) program, that was designed to serve men and women on high-risk probation in Santa Clara County. Its purpose, to reduce recidivism through solution-focused and strength-based interventions. Over a 16-week period, therapists work with clients in a group setting to help them recognize and build on their strengths, identify safe people and explore how past experiences relate to our feelings thoughts, and actions. By changing problem thought patterns, clients learn to better understand their feelings and change behaviors that have led to incarceration.
“I was raised by my mom and aunt who were from Hong Kong. No one talked about feelings. Materialism was a very big deal and love was expressed through gifts,” Jessica said. “There was also a lot of alcoholism in my family so core beliefs and values were very toxic.”
A hard worker, Jessica graduated high school at 16 and went on to the Academy of Arts, earning a degree in brand strategy. At 17 her mom went to prison for embezzlement and she was left to her own devices. She did some modeling and without any real role models, she eventually started using meth. From there she began doing time in jail that eventually led to prison.
“I was always around older kids, but I didn’t have the maturity,” she said. “Prison was actually ok for me because it gave me some structure. I was put in a level four (high security) and I spent time with many people doing life sentences. I really listened and learned that life does exist outside these walls, and life can also go on in here. It’s what you make if it.”
Jessica now is a team lead for United Site, a company that places mobile sanitation devices around San Jose. She has also been clean since early 2018. She said she feels fortunate to be working, especially in uncertain times, but still has worries like everyone else.
“The pandemic has made the world so different, sometimes I feel like no one really understands me. What if I relapse? The constant self-talk that I learned in CBT helps keep me grounded.”
Jessica said that she is also able to analyze and understand her thoughts.
“I learned how to change that inner voice in my head that tells me I’m not trying hard enough. I have learned to only listen to myself, and decipher what truly makes sense. I am now able to narrow down my fears and understand that I can make it through, and just deal with today.”
Jessica is now married to a very supportive partner and feels that she is moving forward in a positive way. She is happy to share her story and hopes to help others know that they can also succeed.
